I’m doing well but it still hurts. As always. Writing is hard. I hate putting words to my feelings because it means they’re real. I can’t pretend the loss of him didn’t scar me. But I’ve learned that processing that pain is tricky. Still it needs to be done. Which is why I try to… Continue reading Widowhood Season 9.02–Finch Task 1
Content warning: death, dying with dignity, suicide. Skip this if it’s gonna trigger you, and go watch baby animals or dark memes or whatever’ll boost your dopamine. To be fair, losing Kevin was pretty traumatic, and I find it easiest to process these feelings via writing. We “put animals out of their misery” when living… Continue reading This blog is pretty much just about Kevin, isn’t it?
Superstition, Stevie Wonder, Talking Book Talking Book is one of “those” albums for Kevin and I. Listened to it in Maui. The horn section is the peanut butter to the clavinet’s jelly, and the drums are the bread. “When you believe in things that you don’t understand, then you suffer” counts as one of the… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.14: Keep me in a daydream
The King of Rock and Roll, Prefab Sprout, Two Weels Good/Steve McQueen Ah, yes, Prefab Sprout, some rather find britpop, if I may say so. Vaguely remember when Kevin played their stuff for me for the first time. I’m pretty sure this song was one of the first ones. It was one of the most… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.12: All the pathos you can keep
Us and Them, Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon This is OUR song, really. “All for Us and None for Them” was a motto we’d say sometimes when facing adversity. This song is also still hard to listen to. It doesn’t make me “ugly cry” as much anymore. If I hear it in… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.8: Us And Them
The Real Me, The Who, Quadrophenia The album Quadrophenia entered my life in 1994, a couple years before I met Kevin. That was a particularly difficult year for me, for reasons that need not be included here. Alongside The Dark Side of the Moon, Quadrophenia was an album we bonded over. Who couldn’t resist a… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.9: ‘Cause it Runs In the Family
From the Beginning, ELP, Trilogy I did hear this when I was away in college, thanks to a neighbor. But then Kevin played it and said it was how he felt about me. What girl could resist such great vocals . . . and those dreamy solos? I wish I could say for sure that… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.10: But There It Is
Two of Us, The Beatles, Let It Be My seminal memory of this song is Kevin and I driving in his ’67 Mustang fastback, circa 1997 going to visit his Dad on a Sunday. (It might have been on the way to NAMM. Again, it was awhile back!) It was a bright day, not too… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.6: Doris gets her oats
Surf’s Up, The Beach Boys, Surf’s Up Back in the days before music was easy (and free) to obtain, if you damaged your copy of an album, you pretty much lost your ability to hear that music until you obtained a copy again. Both Kevin and I grew up listening to The Beach Boys. However,… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.5: The child is father of the man
Two Against Nature, Steely Dan, Two Against Nature Out of all the wonderful music Kevin introduced me to, Steely Dan has had the deepest impact on my soul. Their music is full of cynical sentiments set to music expressing a wide variety of emotions that I could lose myself in whenever I was feeling something… Continue reading Widowhood Season 8.4: The Boys from Bard