journal

Mostly Narrative Freewriting #EO-Eleven…

(Of COURSE as soon as I type a reference to Sammy Davis Jr do I get Michael Jackson’s “You Can’t Win” from The Wiz.)

I think I should dig up the original Ocean’s Eleven and watch it soon. I love that movie.

Work’s been quite busy, but mostly for good reasons. So HERE is the OT the recruiter mentioned in early 2020 when I interviewed for the internal transfer. 🙂 No more support-related tasks once I go off to the desert.

And I really need my Dirt Family. They put the thought of working on myself 5 months ago, so I’m eager to let people know that their love prompted me to realize, to quote an old movie “my mind was not right,” and even more significant, the courage to do something about it.

Weekly therapy has been the bonus of spring and summer. Just talking about a lot of the darker memories of my years with Kevin has helped. So has, now that I think about it, listening to the life stories of a few different women lately–Elvira and Carole King–have made me realize just how easy it is to defer to someone in a relationship even though it brings with it more harm than help. It’s not novel to be young and impressionable and dive into something that isn’t quite right. I think as the century progresses, we might change that fact. Oh there I go daydreaming again…

Polynesian dancing is fun and challenging. My jeans are fitting better, so I think I’m doing something right. Trying to eat better, but giving myself the freedom to indulge in my less healthy comfort foods if I want to reward myself for getting getting out of bed that day. It’s also getting easier to default to the healthier option, even though all the other stuff would be delicious. I can’t eat the way I did in my younger years, and that’s ok. It’ll help me have more of these older years, if I keep it up.

Jennette McCurdy is her generation’s Christina Crawford. She’s also a great writer and I’m kinda happy that I did not grow up watching her on TV.

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