7/14 was full of doctor’s appointments. Maybe keeping busy would help?

Ah yes, the routine appointments: therapy and meds review. I can has stability. Now to maintain it.

MRI, mercifully short and not as traumatic. I knew what to expect. Still, I hope to see what my back looks like 30 years on.

Looking at my old YouTube account for the first time in ages was bittersweet. Oh yeah, that was real. I keep wanting to forget how much it still hurts to be the only survivor of that family. Ah, surviving trauma by only focusing on the present. Ok, I’m oversimplifying. I don’t feel like elaborating.

What really helped was Darling being the co-star of the episode. He was with me all day, to love me the way he does-looking after me. 🙂 Sweetie has had that role from Season 1, for the most part, and has been an instrumental part of the improvement of each season. For that, he gets lunch and coffee each morning.

Amour sans fou, for me, and you, and you. That’s what’s so different this season. I have these two to come home to. Here I am me. As if I got to go back to an alternative universe where there wasn’t a reason for a choice.