Using the day off you’re taking because you just can’t go to work on your widowhood anniversary, to attend to your medical needs, using your insurance and FasTrack pass to drive out to where the referral is. Seriously? The nerve… After all, you failed. You even forgave him before he died. You didn’t know what… Continue reading Widowhood Season 6.4: Survivor’s Guilt
Still don’t like feeling the loss. I think the extra naps this weekend were an attempt to be less conscious through this season. Already looking forward to being quite busy on The Day. Though that survivor’s guilt is gonna really make the MRI difficult. Too bad I have to drive home, or I’d ask the… Continue reading Widowhood Season 6.3: Couple Thoughts
Again with the music. Can’t help it, though The Specials are as comforting as Steely Dan. It’s nice to be able to be weird yet productive at work. Fun, too. The 91 is only tolerable when I use the Fastrack lanes. Better when I can use the carpool lanes as well. Sweetie is a key… Continue reading Widowhood Season 6.2: Stream of Consciousness
7/1/21 He’s all up in my playlist today. Stuff I haven’t heard in ages. The songs that comfort and help motivate as I make today’s use of Excel. Macros and Visual Basic, baby. Returning to my programming roots in a 21st Century way. It’s a living. This season, I have good job satisfaction. Home life… Continue reading Widowhood Season 6.1: Songs and Tony’s Teens
Writing this on mobile, forgive me if it goes astray… Gotta start writing this way if I want to write more often. Which I do. “Do you want to go to a Hardcore Party nearby?” As the cliche goes, that’s the last question I expected of my Sweetie last night. Yet, it was just what… Continue reading Mostly Narrative Freewriting #8: Friday Night Hardcore Party
Why the hell should we try to prevent society from becoming kinder and more accepting? We know greed isn’t good, for so many reasons that have happened in our lifetime. We’re smart enough to know that bigotry really doesn’t have a place in society. We want “old fashioned” thinking to die out, and the art… Continue reading Narrative Mostly Freewriting #7: Gen X Speaking Up
SB, Of course I’m writing on the 25th anniversary of us finding each other on AOL. That day changed my life. 3/1/1996 truly was the beginning of my life with you. (And it some ways, my life began again 19 years later…) For so many years, I thought we’d celebrate this day together with the… Continue reading Surviving Amour Fou #6: The Beginning Was the End (a letter)
This will be kinda rambly. It’s definitely along the narrative freewriting route, but focused on talking about mental health issues. Hey, the brain is an organ that can go wonky, like many other organs in our bodies. The more we talk about it, the better off we’ll be. It really does make a difference to… Continue reading Mental Health Adventures #1: Stability Quest
How does one tell their boss “Your management style isn’t good for my mental health”? That’s not something people are used to articulating. But yet that’s what I find myself wanting to do. Granted, my mental health hasn’t been ideal for awhile. I was doing a good job functioning reasonably well. Then there was that… Continue reading How? (Freewriting)
11/2018 There used to be this notion that a widow/er had to wait a specific amount of time after their spouse died to date again. I’ve contended for about a decade that the only two people who truly understand a marriage are the two people who are in it. Alongside that, when that marriage is… Continue reading Sometimes, Wanting To Get Married Isn’t About Marriage