Finch<\/a>. I highly recommend the app, btw.)<\/p>\n\n\n\nScored some great booze via a vendor today. I plan on asking my friends to try it for me. Darling’s first, of course. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grief just sucks. Like hardcore. I saw something online today that suggested re-channeling the emotional pain of grief into loving yourself more. Not sure how I feel about that. I see the merit in it, for sure. Seems like way easier said than done, though. (I write in Valley Girl, apparently.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lost a friend just before her 42nd bday. To paraphrase a line from Mad Men, she was thirsty and died of thirst. Life wasn’t kind to her, but she did her best to be a good person. So now I call a single crochet a Puddle in memory of her. My mind’s eye is always going to picture her smiling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My winters used to be so much worse. I used to start dreading them in September. Caretaking always sucked the most in the winter. It was pretty much guaranteed that the morning would suck. The level of suck varied each day. The couple days before a storm were always rough. Had to make sure we had everything we needed to survive being snowed in for days. At least once it actually snowed Kevin would feel better and the view was spectacular. Then I could spend a little time making a slideshow of pics so I could show friends and family all the snow and icicles. I’m glad I took the time to do that back then. It was a fun little hobby, alongside of the podcast. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the grief…. it hurts so much. Like want-to-destroy-perfectly-good-things-just-to-rechannel-the-pain type of hurt. Yet I don’t really<\/em> want to destroy things. I’ve lost enough. Who needs to lose more, especially when I can’t necessarily replace anything I’d destroy?<\/p>\n\n\n\nOk. Enough rambling. Other things to do. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Another year. As usual, winter doesn’t start until January. Need the rain, natch. Why is it so hard for me to take the time to write unless I put a little pressure on myself? (This time, a task on Finch. I highly recommend the app, btw.) Scored some great booze via a vendor today. I… Continue reading Mostly Narrative Freewriting #14: 2024(!)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daphne","category-journal"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8fVx5-8J","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":194,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/good-bye-grandma-delia-v-felix\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":0},"title":"Good-bye, Grandma Delia V. Felix","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"August 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Delia Vasquez Felix was a complicated woman. Most of her shortcomings stemmed from her upbringing. It was not an environment conducive to intellectual or emotional growth. She didn't have an opportunity to develop things like self-esteem and critical thinking skills. This absence of a good foundation shaped the rest of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "daphne"","block_context":{"text":"daphne","link":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/category\/daphne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":374,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/widowhood-season-6-4-survivors-guilt\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":1},"title":"Widowhood Season 6.4: Survivor’s Guilt","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"July 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Using the day off you're taking because you just can't go to work on your widowhood anniversary, to attend to your medical needs, using your insurance and FasTrack pass to drive out to where the referral is. Seriously? The nerve... After all, you failed. You even forgave him before he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "daphne"","block_context":{"text":"daphne","link":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/category\/daphne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":458,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/widowhood-season-8-2-i-agree-with-pat-metheny\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":2},"title":"Widowhood Season 8.2: Jazz Guitar","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"July 2, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"5-5-7, Pat Metheny Group, Letter From Home I will forever associate Pat Metheny with Kevin because he's the one who would download random songs featuring this wonderful jazz guitarist and play them for me. There are so many songs I could have picked, but I chose this one because it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "daphne"","block_context":{"text":"daphne","link":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/category\/daphne\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":239,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/narrative-mostly-freewriting-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":3},"title":"Narrative Mostly-Freewriting #2","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"January 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I stopped posting my writing a long time ago. It was discouraged for many years because it was painted as a selfish indulgence. Now it's encouraged because I feel good when I write. And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to beThe door always must be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "journal"","block_context":{"text":"journal","link":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/category\/journal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":453,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/widowhood-season-8-14-songs\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":4},"title":"Widowhood Season 8: 14 Songs","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"June 27, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"A Dirt Fam member inspired me to do something different this Season. Heck, I didn't even write about last season. Guess therapy was an adequate substitute. :) This year, I have chosen 14 songs that I associate with Kevin. This year I'll write a little about them. It was hard\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "journal"","block_context":{"text":"journal","link":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/category\/journal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":566,"url":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/widowhood-season-9-03\/","url_meta":{"origin":541,"position":5},"title":"Widowhood Season 9.03","author":"Daphne Lightner","date":"July 4, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"It's a Bright Size Life kind of afternoon. My life would be so different if it lacked the music of Pat Metheny. Once again, I want to write because I should, but my brain draws a blank. I kind of hate that. I'm one of those people who has to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":542,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions\/542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/minimoog.net\/daphne\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}